Welcome to my life now, hell.

So today was D-day….. or A-day…. it’s the beginning of the gym.

I have a love/hate relationship with the gym.

Settle in kids, ima going to tell you a story.

About five years ago myself and my partner joined one of the local gyms. I wasn’t even as big then as I am now….

Anyway, my partner was over doing weights (he’s a power lifter), while I was walking on one of the treadmills there was a young guy and girl on the row behind me. Now, you need to understand that back then my self esteem was lower than rock bottom and so while I had my headphones in, I wasn’t listening to them.

Opposite the gym and out in the direction that the treadmills faced, across the road is a KFC.

I heard them laughing and then say “she should be walking into KFC instead of a treadmill.”

I didn’t tell anyone. I got my bag, told my partner that I injured my ankle (old injury, story for another time) and went and waiting in the car for him to finish.

I didn’t set foot in a gym again for about three years.

Fast forward to tonight. My partner is having to take time off from training due to a shoulder injury so he is training me in doing “Spartan Training”

What is Spartan Training? I can hear you ask….. it’s hell. Pure hell. Cardio, weights, core. It does everything. I know by Wednesday I’m not going to be able to lift my arms. Good thing I washed my hair last night!!!

This is me right now

So this is the real beginning. My weight right now is 166 kilos. I’ve never been this heavy and I do not want to be heavier. This is disgusting. I’m disgusted in myself for letting myself get to this.

So now I’m going to shower and head to bed.

Tomorrow is another, painful, day.

Stay positive all. Stay happy and in the immortal words of The Clash…. Go easy, step lightly, stay free.